If you find the strong desire to go hiking into the wilderness you will need to take with you some wilderness survival equipment because everyone that is silly enough to wander into the wilderness eventually needs wilderness survival equipment. For the purposes of this discussion when we talk about wilderness survival equipment, we are dealing with only the most essential and important wilderness survival equipment that you will need. As you are swallowed up by the vast wilderness facing the threat of starvation, dehydration, and absolutely no access to HBO at all, which means that if you get stranded out there on a Sunday evening you get no Sopranos. So for all of you nature enthusiasts here is a guide to essential wilderness survival equipment.
If you intend to venture out into the wilderness then the first thing you will need to do is make sure your will is up to date and officially filed. Never leave the task of administering your estate to the state officials. Your first piece of wilderness survival equipment is a bottle of Jack Daniels. Let’s face it, you are out in the wilderness with no XBOX and more than likely no wifi access for your internet connection either so you can forget about Youtube. You also might as well leave that cell phone at home unless you are part of the Bigfoot calling plan because cell phones don’t work where there is no tower.
Essential Food And Supplies
A long time ago there was a story about a hiker that got his arm trapped behind a rock while hiking and had to cut the arm off to escape and he cut his arm off with a pocket knife. To avoid this kind of pain, as your next piece of wilderness survival equipment, you should bring a hacksaw. This is not as cold and cruel as you may think because I am also going to suggest you make sure your hacksaw has a sharp and clean blade. That will cut down on the pain and reduce any risk of infection. That bottle of Jack Daniels will also help with the infection as long as you remembered to bring it.
Finally you will need food while out in the wilderness and there is only one food that does not require any preparation, tastes great, needs no refrigeration at all, and will last the entire two months that you will be hopelessly lost. That food is, of course, Twinkies. Make sure you have plenty of Twinkies on hand because roaming lost in the wilderness can make you hungry and it could be weeks before anyone finds you.